Trail of Trailers

The last few days have brought us a litany of new movie trailers to watch in delight (as well as peruse endlessly for every possible clue regarding each film we can find). Suffice it to say, 2017 is shaping up to be a big year for blockbusters.

First, and definitely most notably, we got our first long form trailer (that they’re still calling a “teaser” for some reason) for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2! BABY GROOT!

This trailer does nothing short of fill me to bursting with joy and love (sexual love!). Is it possible that this trailer is even better than the first trailer for the first installment? I actually think it might be. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is due to arrive on May 5th, 2017.

Up next was a trailer that I found to be a tremendous surprise, in the sense that the movie looks a lot more intriguing that I was expecting. Most of the internet also seems to share my sentiment. Tom Cruise stars in the non-Brendan Frasier reboot of The Mummy, which arises in theaters on June 9th, 2017.

Also interesting about this film is that this will apparently now be the official launch of the assumed shared universe comprised of the famed Universal Monsters that include the Wolfman, Frankenstein’s Monster, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, and others. Interestingly, we also learned that 2014’s Dracula Untold will apparently not be a part of this new shared universe, even though they laid the groundwork for it with an epilogue at the end of that film. I actually liked Dracula Untold but, eh, whatever. Green Lantern was supposed to have it’s own cinematic universe too, and look how that turned out.

Finally, what would two awesome trailers for movies I am now excitedly looking forward to be without an Oh-God-No-Please-Don’t-Not-Again third wheel? If you said “perfect happiness” you’d be correct. Alas, we are not meant to be happy, we are meant to suffer. The Michael Bay-helmed Transformers films are living proof of that, and the fact that they are still making more of them (because they somehow keep making money) is concrete evidence of humanity’s depravity.

Buckle up, you racist caricatures, because our senses are about to be resoundingly assaulted yet again in Transformers: The Last Knight. We got our first official look yesterday.

King Arthur is apparently going to be in this movie, because why the hell not? Michael Bay, unsatisfied with ruining our childhood nostalgia, will now seek to tarnish the folklore of our foreign allies. Get ready for this international travesty to explode into theaters on June 23rd, 2017.

Now that you’re all caught up on the latest sneak peeks of the blockbusters on the horizon, what are your thoughts? Are you excited for any of these movies? Will you join our rebellion to stop Michael Bay’s reign of terror? Leave your comments!

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